What Does the Bible Say About Forgiveness? part 5

Forgiveness In Practice

If you have been wounded, God will take even this frustration and pain of rejection in your life and work it for something good so you can be a vessel of healing to His people--if you let Him.
"...But what if they don't even see how bad they've hurt me?" Whether they see it or not is between them and the Lord. Your responsibility is simply to forgive them.
"...I'm afraid if I forgive, I'll only get hurt again." If you call on the Lord for wisdom He will help you in your situation. If you are in an abusive relationship/partnership/friendship you need to pray about whether you should stay in it. You can still forgive them, but it doesn't mean that you have to live with, or be closely associated with them. There is a difference.
"...If I forgive them, they'll only go on hurting others." If the person who hurt you has done it in an illegal way such as sexual abuse, theft, murder, etc., you have a responsibility to do all you can to stop others from being hurt in the same way. However, you can still forgive them, in the sense that you do not actively hate them, and can pray for God's mercy on them.
When God forgives us, He no longer holds our sins against us. Therefore, we don't have the right to hold others' sins against them--not if we belong to Jesus. If we belonged to the world, we could indulge in bitterness, but the blood-bought child of a merciful King has no such right.
Whether we "feel" forgiveness in our hearts or not, we are under obligation to obey God. As we obey Him, He will supply the feelings. Obedience must come first, then the right feelings will follow. We can't wait for a special nudge from On High to get us to do what His Word already tells us plainly to do. The longer we wait, the worse off we will be. Oswald Chambers, in his famous devotional, "My Utmost For His Highest," preaches strongly about this concept:
"Revise where you have become stodgy spiritually and you will find it goes back
to a point where you knew there was something you should do, but you did not do
it because there seemed no immediate call to, and now you have no perception,
no discernment; at a time of crisis you are spiritually distracted instead of
spiritually self-possessed."
The best way to be rid of bearing a grudge against someone (or a race, nation, gender, or church, etc.), is to confess it to the Lord and seek His help. Then, begin to pray for that person as if you were praying for yourself.
"Lord, bless so and so. Cause their way to be pleasing to You in all that they do. Lead them closer to you! Cleanse them of all sin and give them the grace and strength to repent of any wickedness in their heart. Cause them to thirst for intimacy with You, and let them be fulfilled in Your presence. Let them honor You and put You first in all their ways. Send Your Holy Spirit to minister to them, to strengthen them, and to lead them. Let them fulfill the call of God on their life. Bless their family/job/ministry/etc. Cause them to be fruitful and to be established in your love. Minister to them in the area of their deepest needs. Help me to be truly concerned for them. Let me have your heart for this person. Show me how to pray for them and love them as you want me to...."
Then, bind away any spirit of deception that has come over them, or anything else the Lord may show you in prayer. This is what "loving our enemies" is all about. It is looking past the sin they have committed against us, and honestly wanting the best for them and for God to be merciful to them.
Matthew 5:44-48: "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? Do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? Do not even the publicans so? Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect."
As you are faithful to pray for those who have wronged you in this way, you will see a change come about in them--and in you!!! Instead of hate, you will begin to have God's compassion for them. There is nothing that pleases the Lord more than to see His children bearing each other's burdens, loving each other from the heart, and living in humility toward each other.